Making Nice With your Mother-In-Law

When we get married, we aren’t just adding our spouse as a member of our family, but his entire family. Many people luck out and all of the in-laws get along swimmingly. However, others are not so lucky. There are many women who have poor relationships with their mothers-in-law. It is very important to do what you can to improve your relationship with your mother-in-law, as this is your husband’s mother, and that fact will never change.

In order to being working on your relationship with your mother-in-law, you have to determine what she really wants out of her relationship with you and what drives her as a person. It is very possible that she acts like she completely disapproves of you, but in reality she does so as a defense mechanism in case you dislike her. There may simply be miscommunication between you two. Perhaps she feels like you do not treat her son well. She may also feel like she’s being replaced by you.

Invite your mother-in-law out for coffee, lunch or a day of shopping and treat her like a friend instead of your husband’s mother. You may find that you have a lot of things in common, which you can use to improve your relationship. During your time together, find out things about your husband when he was a child. Chances are you and your mother-in-law will be laughing together about the silly and embarrassing things your husband did when he was little. Suddenly, you are no longer the enemy.

But your mother-in-law wants to be a part of your family life, not just separately with you. So invite her over to dinner on a semi-regular basis so she feels she is wanted and loved. And if you have children, schedule special grandma-grandkids time so she gets her fill without feeling like she has to ask to see her grandkids. And when she starts telling you how to raise your kids, shrug it off and deflect the comments rather than getting into an argument.