Finding a Balance Between Mother and Friend to your Teenage Daughter
The mother-daughter bond is a special one. However, it seems to start withering away as the teenage years arrive. As the mother of a teenage daughter, you are torn between wanting to be your daughter’s friend while also being her mother. It can be hard to reconcile the two, especially as your daughter starts dating and becoming sexually active. If you want your daughter to feel she can come to you with anything, then you have to work hard at balancing your role as a mother and friend.
Your role as mother will always outweigh your role as friend. But you want your teenage daughter to think of you as a friend in that she will talk to you about problems she may be having and for advice. She will certainly get better and wiser advice from her mother than from her teenage friends. As such, it is important to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter so when the really important issues arise, she will come to you.
Remind your daughter regularly that she can be open and honest with you and that you will not judge or her or punish her for coming and talking to you about something. Honesty should always come first, so there should be no fear of punishment for telling the truth. Take your daughter to the gynecologist to begin regular gynecological checkups, especially if she is or is thinking about becoming sexually active. Be there to support her without judgment and ensure that she gets properly educated and protected when the inevitable happens. Talk to her openly about dating, relationships, consequences of sexual activity, and possibly share some of your experiences, without grossing her out. Show her you understand what it’s like to be a teenage girl, since you were one once.
You should also counsel your teenage daughter about drinking and drugs and their ill effects. However, you should also tell her to call you if she is ever in need of a sober driver. You would much rather her be alive than drive drunk because she feared getting into trouble.